Choosing For Your Kids (Intro)

Does that title sound like forceful domineering parenting to you? It looked that way to me as I typed it, and I know what I'm trying to say (read: not that), so please allow me to explain :)

It's struck me recently that a lot of media sources are very vocal and accepting about kids running the show. As if it's this unfortunate thing that happened upon parents, and as if their hands are helplessly tied from stopping it. I get the general impression (from blogs, TV shows, movies, magazines) that kids have a greater say than necessary, and it's generally driving parents crazy! Anyone else witnessing this phenomenon?


As much as we want to instill a sense of self in our kids, they're still too young to make big decisions. They often lack the common sense and greater knowledge to decide things for themselves. Please don't misunderstand. I'm all for letting my toddler have a say in much of her daily routine. But that's the point: in her routine. That I've set. She has a lot of say. As her parents, we've decided to set the framework and make the big decisions, so the kids can be free to make the small decisions safely and appropriately. This is a style of parenting we've aligned with, but it's not THE WAY and I'm not saying other ways are wrong. Just what we've found works for our kids and us. I'm going to be talking a lot on this topic this week, and I'd love feedback, to hear about your experiences as a child or parent, and for you to contribute to the conversation! 

Here's generally how it works in our house - Of course there are exceptions to every rule and we make mistakes along the way and aren't always consistent like we know we should be, etc, etc, etc. But basically, aside from the disclaimer, it works like this: I decide a great deal of general framework, and there is room for Lily to voice her opinion and be heard, and often we'll take her choice over ours, because it falls happily in the framework that it parent-approved.

This has generally been our way of parenting from the beginning. There are certainly days and exceptions, I want to make that clear, where our parenting is nothing like this - but those days don't characterize our style. I should also note that while this type of parenting has basically been one we've used from the get go, we've also been very influenced by books such as On Becoming Babywise and Bringing Up Bebe

Part 1 will be up tomorrow! Talking about meal time...


  1. I couldn't agree more! I'm new to your blog, but I think we like a lot of the same tv shows {I loove Up All Night, and I'm letting Grey's go too!} & I have a lot of the same opinions on kids. {Although I don't have any yet..}

    Basically, I think parent's should set the scene, but the kids should essentially color it in.
    Love your blog!!

    1. Thanks for reading alone Becca Anne! I'm with you and love how you phrased it :)