28.9.19

"How do you do it? Do you believe in balance?"

I was so honoured to be interviewed by my friend Hailey Andresen on her amazing blog Household Mag this month and I wanted to share my answers to her questions here as well in case you missed the interview. Her first question is one I've heard in some shape or form for many years and it honestly grieves me to hear it. I'm not a perfect mom and I definitely don't do "it all" whatever "all" is! Here's the question and my response in long form. I'll post the other questions as time allows and I hope they're a blessing for you!


Hailey: As a mom of one, almost two, I am always amazed at how you juggle life with three kiddos, always seem to have your hands in something creative and from what I can tell have a deep, connected relationship with your husband and a healthy relationship with yourself too. So my question to you is, how do you do it? Do you believe in balance?

Me: Ha! No. Honestly, it’s a myth. I think social media has made us believe in the Super Mom idea too strongly, when in reality every mom is doing her best and some have higher capacities than others. I’m an extrovert and I have a high capacity for projects and people, but I also have friends who give their true 100% and have less going on, and we’re both doing great work. I will say that boundaries are so essential and we are a family who are not afraid to lay them down and write out rules that work for us and stick with them.

Juggling three kids who attend two schools for example, meant that we made a firm rule on extra-curriculars – they can do one at a time, or none at all. I know a lot of families whose kids are in three or more activities and I know for us that would be too hectic. We wouldn’t be able to prioritize family game night (Fridays), meals together as a family (ideally four times a week) or church every Sunday with our kids if they were in every activity, so we say no to a lot. Because my husband works longer hours than average (and often evenings and weekends), I stay home to manage the home, along with various side hussels’ as time allows. It wasn’t a choice I was brought up with or ever thought I’d make, but for the sake of family harmony (dare I say balance!?) it made sense for one of us to work significantly less if the other had to work significantly more.

I think families feel a lot of pressure these days to always be achieving and doing and we’ve made a conscious effort to reject that notion. For example, we did zero activities with our kids outside the home before age three. No baby enrichment classes or mom and tot groups of any kind. Not only did we save money to put towards travel, but we also had a very relaxed pace at home as our three little ones were growing up. Three kids in three years forces you to choose what’s important!



2 comments:

  1. I like your honesty about saying no to too many extra-cirricular activities, my daughter does 3 per week and she would happily do more, but then she wouldn't spend as much time with us, Wednesday's are horse riding and them we usually visit family and then we have dinner with my parents, we have always prioritized family meals, it's how I grew up and I love talking about our day, even if it does take a long time to get a meal over and done with, i have a very chatty almost 5 year old.

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