Last week, I had a terrible morning with my kids. It was only a few minutes, but it added up to a terrible morning, full of regret and withheld grace. That's where it often starts isn't it? A rude comment, a thoughtless action, a hurried resolution, if there was one at all.
Instead of coaching my child out of their tantrum (which in itself was filled with pride, anger, and lack of respect), I engaged and entered into those same sins in the name of "parenting". Sometimes we just get it so wrong as parents. As a mother who loves and follows Jesus, I know I need to extend grace and forgiveness to my children. Showing them Him is the crux of my job, and sometimes I fail at it. I can so easily correct them, but I am often too blind to see my own sins, even as they pertain to the sins of my children. Are they disrespectful? How have I modeled similar attitudes to them? Are they impatient? How patiently am I listening to their rant? Are they easily angered and frustrated? Is my voice rising as I tell them to "CALM DOWN!"?
The point is, I know I need to give my children grace as I teach them to love and follow Jesus, but I sometimes forget to give it to myself as well on this journey. I felt horrible for hours after I dropped my child off at school. Thoughts of condemnation swirling through my head all day. I should have been more patient. I could have avoided the whole debacle by not choosing that moment to dig my heals in. Their character needed to be addressed, but why didn't I just wait until after school instead of sending forcing a lecture when we were already late for school? My pride kept the argument alive. How could I stoop to the level of a child in a stupid argument and not expect the results to be horrible? I failed my child this morning.
Thankfully God used my husband to deliver the good news I needed to remember. I am not my worst parenting day. My identity is not in my best parenting moments, or my worst parenting failures. My identity is hidden in Jesus, and his perfect identity as God's son. I'm free from boasting or feeling above others when I'm getting this parenting thing right, and I'm free from despair when, like that morning, I get it all woefully wrong. I need grace just as much as my children, and I need to remember that the same God who motivates me to train up my children in love, kindness, and respect, died to wipe my slate clean, when I'm loveless, harsh, and rude.
Instead of coaching my child out of their tantrum (which in itself was filled with pride, anger, and lack of respect), I engaged and entered into those same sins in the name of "parenting". Sometimes we just get it so wrong as parents. As a mother who loves and follows Jesus, I know I need to extend grace and forgiveness to my children. Showing them Him is the crux of my job, and sometimes I fail at it. I can so easily correct them, but I am often too blind to see my own sins, even as they pertain to the sins of my children. Are they disrespectful? How have I modeled similar attitudes to them? Are they impatient? How patiently am I listening to their rant? Are they easily angered and frustrated? Is my voice rising as I tell them to "CALM DOWN!"?
The point is, I know I need to give my children grace as I teach them to love and follow Jesus, but I sometimes forget to give it to myself as well on this journey. I felt horrible for hours after I dropped my child off at school. Thoughts of condemnation swirling through my head all day. I should have been more patient. I could have avoided the whole debacle by not choosing that moment to dig my heals in. Their character needed to be addressed, but why didn't I just wait until after school instead of sending forcing a lecture when we were already late for school? My pride kept the argument alive. How could I stoop to the level of a child in a stupid argument and not expect the results to be horrible? I failed my child this morning.
Thankfully God used my husband to deliver the good news I needed to remember. I am not my worst parenting day. My identity is not in my best parenting moments, or my worst parenting failures. My identity is hidden in Jesus, and his perfect identity as God's son. I'm free from boasting or feeling above others when I'm getting this parenting thing right, and I'm free from despair when, like that morning, I get it all woefully wrong. I need grace just as much as my children, and I need to remember that the same God who motivates me to train up my children in love, kindness, and respect, died to wipe my slate clean, when I'm loveless, harsh, and rude.
For by grace you have been saved through faith.
And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Ephesians 2:7-9
THIS. Yes. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBeen there so many times. Beautiful. It is good to remember that God gives us grace that we are to extend to our growing and learning little ones. It is very difficult at times because you with they would be respectful and obedient all the time!
ReplyDelete+Victoria+
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