::: previously posted on my other blog :::
to baby fever.
My friends felt it when they wanted another one, and after Oli I didn't.
I hosted baby showers, visited newborns, played with sweet smelling 1 month-olds, and celebrated with friends over their recent pregnancies. All.Without.The.Fever.
Not that we didn't want more kids, as you know, we are adopting!
But we were sure of one thing: NO MORE BABIES.
Until last week. We were discussing the V word (vasectomy) and Brad asked an honest question.
Are you sure you don't want to have just one more?
My response was emphatic. You can read all about it here. But then last night as as were sorting through baby things to lend/give to a pregnant couple we know, it hit me. The fever.
Now, to discern if it's legitimate or not.
Is it just a hormone surge, emotions or nostalgia? Probably.
Is it just because our kids are in the same room now and sleeping through the night together? Maybe.
But while we're on the topic, what are my reasons for not wanting another baby, aside from adoption (because that would happen down the road regardless)?
I need to evaluate them, because last time I checked they weren't so solid.
They were temporary things. Fleeting things. Vain things.
Like how much I dislike pregnancy. (which is only 9 months)
Like how my pre-baby body is finally back. (and this body is not forever!)
Like how I can function as a non-mom some days because I only have 2 and they're pretty manageable. (but I am a mom! is it so horrible if my life reflects that all day, every day?)
Like how exhausting the first 6 months are. (again, it's only 6 months)
Like how awful breastfeeding was with both babies. (who says I have to?)
Plus I never wanted another biological child. And never wanted another baby (biological or adopted).
But if I do (not saying I do, just saying I'm thinking about it today!), would I seriously let 9 hard months followed by 6 exhausting months and body image issues be the defining factor? I hope not.