Advent 2024

Over the years Advent has become a cornerstone for us in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Starting in 2016 when our kids were 3, 5 and 6, inspired by a friend, it's grown to become our own cherished tradition. If you want to start practicing Advent next year, here's an honest mid-way through Advent reflection I wrote on our first year, and here's an overview of how we've generally practiced Advent and why. It's a bit different every year as traditions ebb and flow, kids grow up and schedules change, but it's still a cornerstone for which I'm so thankful. 

This year we started on November 28th with a big brunch (the same brunch we'll have on Christmas morning as it were - sausage rolls and jam rolls) and decorated our tree with a dear friend from church before all of us curling up for a couple episodes of The Chosen. The perfect kickoff to Advent and Christmas!

Which brings me to this year's Advent, with older kids (11, 13, 14) who have their own schedules (friends, hockey, youth group, etc.) and me working almost full-time. Gone are the days of slow and reflective mornings around the Advent candles and unhurried bedtime routines. I loved the season of being a stay-at-home-mom and how it afforded more time and presence of mind for traditions such as this, but if a good tradition requires the perfect circumstances, it's not very likely to continue, and thankfully Advent does not require perfection at all.

Throughout the month we've been aiming to read a chapter each day of our Advent devotional (this year it was Let Earth Receive Her King by Alistair Begg) though to be honest, we weren't very consistent this year. We've also been going through the New City Catechism with the kids at suppertime, one chapter per night, and we rarely fit in both. I share this so you know that it's not perfect at our house and that if we missed a few days of our advent readings, it wasn't the end of the world. We just picked up at the current day's devotional reading and jumped back in. 

Chloe's Sunday school class at church made their own Advent wreaths this year so we lit her candles and our church used our Advent candleholder for the lighting of candles each Sunday service. Lily actually was the one to light the forth and final candle this past Sunday and read Isaiah 9:1-6, which you can watch below if you like.

 

Aside from the readings and candles, this month has been full and sweet. We hosted a Christmas party for our church's pastoral team in early December and in my spare time I did Christmas baking. As always, I made early grey tea thumb print cookies and classic sugar cookies (both recipes here!) and tried two new ones this year, both from this blog. Mince pies are so traditionally British and Christmassy, but I don't think I'll remake them next year, but the pecan shortbread cookies are a new favourite! Homemade Irish Cream (aka DIY Bailey's) was a 10 minute project I made again this year. Really perfect for gifting and sipping by the tree!

This year was our first year with a truly enormous tree, which we bought last year during Boxing Day sales. It's 9 feet! It's nice to know we can leave for Christmas visits and our tree won't be dying and becoming a fire hazard while we're away! And also I loved having it up for so long this time. I am completely convinced by artificial trees now, though I'll always be wistful for that fresh pine or spruce smell that a candle just can't replicate. 

While busier than years past, this Advent was still so meaningful, and accomplished it's primary task, just like the Apostle John's, in preparing us for the coming King. Jesus and Christmas, we're ready.

Christmas, at last.

This Christmas was so incredibly special. With Christmas 2020 being a social distanced affair, lacking the togetherness we so sorely needed, Christmas 2021 felt all the more profound. The hugs were stronger, the gatherings were richer, the laughs were louder and the food was sweeter. 

Of course, we're still in a pandemic, so we didn't take gathering for granted, but as every member of our families is double vaccinated (except the kids who have had their first dose) and we all tested negative 24 hours before seeing each other, we felt we could go on to be together. As my family lives eight hours from Montreal, it had been over two years since I'd seen my grandmother and the kids' great grandma. How incredible to lay eyes on her again! 

Here are some photos of our three gatherings, in black and white. First we went to Fonthill, a little hamlet in Niagara at the southern part of Ontario where I grew up and where my sister and her family live, along with my parents and grandma. My sister's kids are only four and five, so two years without seeing them felt like meeting a brand new niece and nephew! Our kids reveled in the reality of cousins and we had incredible drinks and food for the three days we were with them! Gifts the first night with my parents at their house, then on to Lisa's house for the next two nights, with my parents visiting daily to join for meals.

 

After Fonthill we headed to an Airbnb we rented in Kawartha Lakes, Ontario. Along with Brad's brothers Mike and Rob, we rent an Airbnb for five days and take turns receiving Brad's parents, who have both re-married. It's a really easy way to be able to see everyone without driving all over! The first two nights we were with Brad's mom and Bruce, her husband, then they left and Brad's dad and his wife, Deb arrived for two nights. Finally we had one night just the "kids" before heading back to Montreal. 

Since Brad's parents live in Quebec and Ontario and his brothers are both in Ontario, we always choose a halfway point for the Airbnb, though this year it wasn't super central. We were just happy to find a space with the pandemic rules and everything! I highly recommend the Airbnb approach if you're part of a mixed family navigating seeing several sets of grandparents/parents! Plus with everyone chipping in, it's very affordable.

We live far from family, so gatherings like this only happen once or twice a year, and obviously less due to Covid. What a beautiful and truly enchanted time together. I'm thankful that we were all able to stay healthy and safe during the week together, and that our relationships with these dear ones could pick up right where we left off two years ago. 

Christmas began with a generous gift from a Father, and we felt that spirit of love and generosity throughout the week. My sister and her husband Andrew hosted us with some of the most delicious food and drinks imaginable, our kids were showered with gifts from their aunt and uncles and grandparents, and we laughed until our faces hurt many times. Our hearts left that week on a high, and Christmas worked it's magic once again.

How We Came to Celebrate Advent, What It Means to Us, and How to Get Started

Are you familiar with the Advent season? Are you wondering how early to begin with your small children, or how to engage your older ones? Are you wondering if it's too late to start Advent or that it would be too complicated? Friends, I'd love to help by sharing our experience. 

I was not raised celebrating the season of Advent. The chocolate Advent calendars which always began on December 1st were as close as I got to the season. Many years later when Brad and I both became Christians, and eventually became parents, we knew we wanted to mark Christmas with joyful celebration and profound reflection so we thought a lot about how we'd do that with a young family. Early on, we decided not to include Santa in our Christmas festivities (though we have always given presents and most years we've had a tree). It wasn't for many more years though, that we'd incorporate Advent into our Christmas Festivities. 

Advent is the season preceding Christmas and is marked by celebrating the four Sundays before December 25th. For this reason, the date of Advent is always changing (it's Sunday, November 29th this year). Most liturgical churches celebrate Advent (think Anglican, Catholic, etc) but few Evangelical churches do, though that's changing. I believe our generation's desire for deeper roots and the comfort of traditions is what's leading many Evangelical churches and Christians to begin celebrating Advent. It's certainly what has drawn me in these past few years, but I digress. Advent is leading up to Christmas and aims to awaken joy and anticipation for the day of days, Christmas! When Christians all over the world celebrate the dawn of Salvation. The beginning of the greatest story ever told. The birth of the King.

There are countless ways one can celebrate Advent. Some celebrate Advent only on the four Sundays before December 25th, others (like us) celebrate every day of Advent, or every few days when schedules allow (also us). We intend to gather around the table and celebrate Advent every evening, but some days we run out of time or someone is ill or we're too tired and we say without guilt, tomorrow! Advent is a reminder of God's grace to us, so please don't let it turn into an obligation or source of guilt. If you miss a night, pick it up the next. If you miss a week, pick it up the next. If you're missing many evenings, consider that you've over-complicated Advent and simplify. 

 

For my family, Advent always includes the lighting of candles, the singing of a Christmas carol (which truly are the best worship songs ever written!) and the reading of scripture and memorizing of scripture (one naturally leads to the other), and is generally 10 minutes per day.

The symbolism of lighting four candles progressively through Advent is beautiful and tactile and one of my favourite parts! Young children are always in awe of flames, made even more special if other lights are dimmed, so as long as they are seated a safe distance away, I suggest using candles even from a young age. You don't need to spend a lot of money on a candleholder either. I've owned three over the years - two were thrifted for a few dollars and another was a $10 Ikea bargain. Or use whatever candles you have on hand. The point is light - representing Christ, the light of the world. We light one candle the first week, then the second week we light the first week's candle and the second candle, and so on. When all four candles are blazing, our hearts are too! It's a beautiful way to anticipate Christmas. 

The singing of carols began as a desire to teach our kids the lyrics to all the classics, especially since our church is French so they weren't learning them there. As our kids have grown it's sweet to hear them sing every word of some of our most cherished carols, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, Joy to the World, O Come O Come Emmanuel, O Come All Ye Faithful, and Silent Night. I found an old Hymn book secondhand that has a whole Christmas section, so we sing from that but you could do any simple Google search to find the lyrics to your favourites. We choose a few each Advent and rotate through them until everyone knows the words. This is especially great for little ones who can't read but after repeated listening can memorize. 

Reading and memorizing scripture is the third aspect of Advent for us, and each year we change the passage. One year we read John 1:1-12 every day of Advent and by the second week my kids were finishing my sentences and eventually knew it all by heart. There were no drills or contests, simply the daily practice of reading the Bible. Other years we've read the Old Testament prophesies of the Messiah (which were all fulfilled by Jesus Christ) or Romans 5:1-11, which isn't particularly Christmas-sy but is focused completely on the gospel. You could choose any passage! For us, the importance was just being in the Word together, taking it to heart, and focusing on the eternal promises of God in a season that highlights such temporary joys. 

Our kids were 3, 5, and 6 when we celebrated Advent for the first time. Inspired by a thoughtful mom friend (hi Brit!), I found a candle holder at a thrift store for a few dollars and bought some secondhand children's books that focused on the nativity. We gathered around the candles, lighting one each week and read a story. Later we'd add Christmas hymns and scripture, and the story would be read during other times in the day. It was simple, even with young kids, and oh so meaningful. 

Christmas so often seems to sneak up on us, doesn't it? The week before we're often frantic, racing to bake and buy and decorate, and the truth is, in all of this activity our faith can often take a back seat. The aim of Advent is to delight our hearts in Christ, who came at Christmas to save us from our sins. Starting a full four weeks ahead of Christmas gives us ample time to linger with the Christmas story, meditate on scripture, and form new habits. I don't know about you, but I'm terrible at waiting. Advent turns my impatience into joyful reflection with these small acts of lighting a candle and singing a carol. Advent has become in itself something we look forward to, which makes Christmas seem much richer and longer a holiday. 

Advent teaches us to wait well; refocusing our hearts on the real meaning of Christmas, lessening the power that temporary treasures have on our hearts, and savour the saviour. This year is our forth year celebrating Advent and these last four Christmases have truly been the best ones. We arrive at the tree on Christmas morning not looking for the gifts to fill us, but with hearts already full of joy and worship. Jesus Christ is our greatest gift and Advent builds our affections so well.

 ps - Tomorrow I'll be sharing some of my favourite tools (devotionals, games, books) that I bring out at Advent each year and help enrich the season, if you'd like some more practical suggestions!

We've Never Done "Santa" and the Kids Are Alright!

We're that family that doesn't do Santa at Christmastime. The more I talk about this online, the more I realize there are actually many families like ours, and at the very least, there are many families out there with a bit of dissonance around the whole thing. If you'd like to read a detailed post on why we don't do Santa, see here, and if you'd like to read my most recent musings on why it's been a great decision for us, see here. I can now say, as a parent of kids who are past the Santa age (they're 7, 9, and 10) that it was the right decision for us and our kids are quite alright!

Today I wanted to tackle a few often asked questions. Especially with all three being school aged how did they handle the Santa secret with their peers, and how did we navigate the many Santa-themed activities they do at school, and aren't they feeling a bit left out?

Keeping The Secret 

We've always insisted that our kids don't spoil the secret for others. It's the choice of every individual family and we're not about to have our kids hurting feelings over a fun tradition. That said, last year two of our kids were asked head on from peers if they believed in Santa. This is where it gets awkward, because we don't want them to lie for obvious reasons. 

We've taught the kids to say, "I personally don't believe in Santa, but you can believe whatever you want!" 

They don't say why they don't believe (because we told them the truth!) as that would probably convince their peers and we have no interest in making other kids not believe in something that's special for them. I think it's so important for kids to learn from a young age that it's okay to have opposing beliefs and to communicate them respectfully. 

Santa Themed Activities

Our kids have all attended public school with the exception of Oli beginning homeschool this year. This means come December, every craft has a Santa theme and every song is about him. Honestly, I just let it go. Our kids know full well that he's not real but it's fun to participate in these songs and crafts at school. As with many things in life, they've learned that they won't always share the beliefs of their peers and that doesn't mean they need to break fellowship with them or be offended by everything.

Feeling Left Out? 

I'm often asked if our kids are left out by the lack of "magic" that Santa provides for the Holidays. I can say confidently that this has never been the case for our kids! As Christians, Christmas is magic because God became man and dwelt among us, and because that miracle means life everlasting for all who love him. There is nothing more magical than this beautiful news! We focus our hearts on the joys of the season beginning with Advent (this year it's November 29th, fyi!) and for the next four weeks we're constantly coming back to encouraging Bible verses and our favourite Christmas songs. The anticipation that Advent provides to Christmas is amazing and makes the Holiday last longer. I'll be writing about Advent this week for anyone interested!

This may go without saying, but our kids still receive gifts on Christmas morning like any other Santa-believing children. They're not missing out! The added benefit is that instead of them thinking the gifts came from a fictitious character, they understand that they came from their parents who love them, and they can practice gratitude practically. Our kids look forward to Advent and Christmas all year round and have the fondest memories of our Christmas traditions. 

To be honest I'm glad we're past the Santa years (generally by grade 2 kids no longer believe in him, from what I understand) so it's no longer a *thing*. We have no regrets in not including Santa in our Christmas festivities and we've been able to teach so many life lessons as a result. We've been able to magnify the importance of Christmas as Christians and not get distracted by competing narratives, our kids have learned to speak confidently about their beliefs in a respectful way, and they've learned that there will be many times in life that they don't see the world the same way as their friends - and they can be both bold and loving in those times and maintain fellowship despite differences.