marriage and real love songs

Eight years into marriage, there are a lot of things that are way better than in our newlywed days, but honestly, also a lot of things that we still struggle with that we thought by now would be distant memories. We're still childish and selfish. We can still be petty and unforgiving. We still fight, often. We still have to put in actual effort to sustain a healthy marriage, we can't just go on auto-pilot.

A decade ago, I naively thought marriage would be easy and constant fun and laughs - a sleepover party forever! I'm sure there are blog posts out there that you could read that would describe marriage that way, so if that sounds more therapeutic to you I encourage you to track them down, but it wouldn't be true for me to write one. Human relationships, even with the most compatible, loving, Godly partner, are messy.

There are few conversations that I love more or find more soothing than ones with fellow married friends about the challenges of marriage but it's utter worthiness despite the tough parts. I think back to boisterous conversations with one pair of married pals in the Fall when blurting out "MARRIAGE!" was the only helpful explanation to our current difficulty of accepting our partner's faults and our own hang ups. It's hard, we're sinful, it's worth it, but it's not easy. Marriage! Another such conversation with some friends from Toronto occurred over the Holidays as we four talked about how we still fight (a lot) eight years into marriage (they were married just a few months before us), but how our fights are fairer and shorter, and that's progress worth cheers-ing to.

Which brings me to real love songs and my favourite one, by CHVRCHES.

I'll be a thorn in your side
'til you die
I'll be a thorn in your side
for always...

Now that's a real love song. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worthy and beautiful and we're in it to win it.


  1. I've never heard this song, but it's so good! I couldn't agree more. Marriage is awesome, but it's also hard work.

  2. Oh I totally resonate with this. And with that song. So good. It's not supposed to be easy, but it is absolutely worth it, hey?

  3. Thanks for writing this! I find it so easy to get discouraged about my marriage reading lots of soppy posts about other peoples marriage on instagram/blogs. And think but our marriage is hard (but also good!) So this is encouraging! It is hard and I think the world tells us it should be easy & fun always! But it's not it's hard (especially with little people!)